You would think that a bunch of people born of the same parents and raised by those same parents, would be able to get along, wouldn't you? Most do, but not so in our family. I was born the eldest of 6 kids - all to the same parents, and all of us were raised by Mum & Dad too. But that is about where the similarities end.
In a couple of weeks it will be a year since Mum passed away. In all of that time, I have only spoken to one of my siblings - and only then because I answered the phone at my daughter's house, and my sister was on the other end of the line! Not from want of trying on my part, mind you. All I seem to get these days is filthy messages on Facebook or snide remarks made to my kids if they happen to be in the same place as my siblings may be.
I have not been included in any family gatherings since Mum's funeral in May last year. Not an invitation or even an inclusion in any family discussions. Not a thing. Yes it hurts, but I am learning to live with it. Can't say I like it, but guess I don't have a choice. If they all want to be A-grade @#$%-holes about it, then there isn't much I can do or say to change their opinions. But I gave up worrying about other people's opinions a long, long time ago. So why does this hurt so much?
Probably because they are my sisters and my brother who are doing this to me - and for what? All because our mother helped me out financially a number of years ago, and her will was written to reflect that assistance thus -
If a 1/5 share of her estate was more than the amount that Mum loaned me, then I would be responsible for paying the difference between what Mum loaned me and the 1/5 share value, back to the estate. If the 1/5 share was less than the amount that Mum loaned me, then the difference between the 1/5 share and what Mum had loanded me would be paid in equal portions to my surviving grand-children. NOT to me, NOT to my children, but to my GRANDCHILDREN - so those they despise so much, didn't get a cent.
This was Mum's wish, since she knew that this would make the worms well and truly turn, especially if the difference, if any, were left to me, and heaven forbid that any should be left to my son or daughter! How dare she help out one of her kids. It has been okay for her to help them out in the past, but how dare she help me out!
Even in the arrangements for Mum's funeral I was omitted from everything except the preparation of the eulogy - and they even got the shits on over that, because my son had to drive me down to my sister's place (80kms away mind you) to help them out because none of them knew how to write one. I knew something was going to happen when my sister got all bent out of shape when I said that I wanted to say a few words of my own at Mum's funeral. Her comments were so rude and hurtful, it seemed to me then that it was a total imposition for me to even be there.
Poor Mum, I truly hope she hasn't hung around to see or hear what her kids are doing and saying to one another now. She was the glue that kept us together, but the last smidgeon of that is long gone - it disappeared the night she closed her eyes for the last time.
Part of all of this is what keeps that rotten damned black dog at my door. I try not to let it get to me, but every so often it rears its ugly head and comes back to bite me again. It has just done so in the past week, since I needed to tell my family that I would be out of the country for 6 weeks - according to them I am spending their inheritance on my trip, but I assure you I am not at all.
Funny though, that there are items in a couple of their houses that could only have come from money from Mum, since at the time they were "acquired", neither sister had the sorts of incomes that would allow them to purchase such items. And one sister's "partner" still owes mum a lot of money for loans she made to him for vehicles he purchased, and the same sister was helped to pay off her ex-husband's divorce settlement too - but I got the majority of their inheritance - acoording to them anyway.
If I write much more on this subject, I am going to be out for the count for several days, so best I leave it now. One day they will wake up to themselves.
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